The university’s marketing department has conceded to the demands of the student body. I sat down with a representative to get the facts.

Students have complained for years that they don’t care for the phoenix and want something they can relate to.

Florida Poly Marketing Rep : “While all of us in the admin are Chads and simply don’t understand anime stuff” said a marketing officer. “Our weeaboo student body has been requesting for some time that we make a mascot change.”

Marketing wanted to license either Pikachu, or Goku, but settled on making their very own Florida Poly Waifu.

Florida Poly Marketing Rep : “The students are now requesting we sell custom pillows for the mascot, so this was clearly a mistakeā€.

The dodo is excited also to announce our own mascot change, which will be a Dodo Senpai.

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David Kozdra

David Kozdra is a computer science student at Florida Polytechnic University. He is the Treasurer of the Media Club, Head of Outreach of the Baked Bean Bois improv group, and the Cohost of the Poly Pod podcast.

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