I woke up this morning with a horse head in my bed, so I find it imperative to say; I love the teachers union. I now know that satire is no joke and not a replacement for news. As one of Layers only and most active writer, I find this a great way to express myself. I love jokes and programming and had the Gaul to write about both of them. I have sunk down to the level of doing my job with enthusiasm, something the majority of staff at Poly couldn’t dream of attempting. Layers has recently sunk down to writing satire two years ago. For this, I apologize.

I want to also make a quick correction, I stated in my last article that the average grade in all physics 2 classes was only 6%. I have been informed that the true number is 13%, more than double what I had stated previously. With grades like that, they will only have to retake the course twice. I apologize for getting this wrong and only wish for peace. I strive for accuracy in my jokes and hope to one day mean exactly what I say. Irony is a crutch and humor is a weakness.

While some would argue that satire is a great tool, to punch up and expose issues with exaggerated humor, I disagree it’s all smut, pornographic even. I personally masturbate to political cartoons for this very reason. If jokes could be used as tools to convince and educate, then why don’t we learn about them in physics? It’s the root of everything, is it not? Exactly, jokes don’t matter because they are not in physics. I have a question for all the physics 2 students. How will you fix your computer while you are sleeping? Stop joking around, do you have any idea how often physics is used in software, literally all the time? How do you think typing even works? It’s gravity, read your textbook.

I apologize for Tarnishing the good name of Layers. A publication for students to comment on current events in any way they please, even when speaking ill of the powers that be. Layers is home to student-led entertainment and information. If it was a place to tell jokes, we would have made a column for that. Layers is not apart of what satire stands for, and never will be. I strive to improve.

Layers is looking for new writers, looking to speak your mind, inform students about current events, or write mean-spirited jokes that hurt the feelings of out-of-touch authorities who aren’t even mentioned by name… or at all? Email [email protected] or join our Discord

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David Kozdra

David Kozdra is a computer science student at Florida Polytechnic University. He is the Treasurer of the Media Club, Head of Outreach of the Baked Bean Bois improv group, and the Cohost of the Poly Pod podcast.

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